apparently the secret to your success is patron
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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