Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry BallsAndChange hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen

Fav 20 2654 969
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

..im mad u rememberd about that

Fav 14 1280 3694
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him

Fav 8 1133 4193
share tweet
(651): View more from Minnesota

I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.

Fav 25 7177 1399
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.

Fav 15 1457 3180
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too

Fav 10 3345 1290
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

You need to be more adventurous.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way

Fav 4 1860 862
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice

Fav 0 91 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?

Fav 0 25 27
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT