she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
