got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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