Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Vodka?
Forever.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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