dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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