she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
