Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
