Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize