Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
