I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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