Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

I'm on that like soy sauce on rice

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(614): View more from Ohio

good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.

(740): View more from Ohio

i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..

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(269): View more from Michigan

Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon

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(417): View more from Missouri

And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?

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(480): View more from Arizona

West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.

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(716): View more from New York

Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed

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