I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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