Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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