I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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