ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
