Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
