All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
