What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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