Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
