not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
