one might say we're banned from that church
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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