Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
COCAINE IS GR8
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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