So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
