Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
