it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize