Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
