how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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