Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
