we have pet lesbian snakes
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Randomize
