I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
