Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize