There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
