You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
