She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize