I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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