I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize