wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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