So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
