I'm drive I can fine osifer
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm getting married
To pizza
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
