I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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