After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just blew my weed a kiss
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize