So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
