I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize