Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
