Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
