the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
