His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize