The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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