You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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