I think i peed on brittanys purse
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
