Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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