Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My vagina is officially offended.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
