There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
