Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
