You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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