Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
