Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Green mimosas i think yes
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
