he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
