That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
