I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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