Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
