sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
