Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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